I hear ya, Sex Bunny. At least I think I do. Well, I mean, what the hell is a pedipalp?

“Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me” is a song by the Australian alternative rock band TISM. It was the only single off The White Albun (2004). Yes, that’s how they spelled it. What can you expect from a band who wears balaclavas.

A catchy little song that became a Web sensation when former Walt Disney animator Bernard Derriman (a.k.a. squetch) entered this video in a competition for TISM and won! According to his website it took him 3 weeks to create. There have been many versions since but this is still by far my favorite.

As for TISM, they’re kinda like the Grateful Dead of Australia. As of this writing, their website is down. But ya gotta love a band that can work into the lyrics a reference to an orb-weaver spider’s sex parts.

Everyone else has had more sex than me
ohhh ohhh
Everyone else has had more sex than me
ohhh ohhh

Everyone else has had more sex than me
Does anyone else get that feeling?
Teenagers, naked, couples in threes;
Grandparents swing from the ceiling;

Everyone else has had more sex than me
ohhh ohhh
Everyone else has had more sex than me
ohhh ohhh

Corporate capers and office amour;
Shenanigans outdoor and in
Resist, and then later you find out there’s more
Regret in not doing the sin.

All loves have to die – of that there’s no help;
My favourite way to end em’
Is the orb-weaver spider’s, whose pedipalp
Enters the female pudendum,

Then dies on the spot, his corpse there still stuck,
Left for his rivals to curse it.
He would rather die than not get to fuck:
Personally, I reckon it’s worth it

Everyone else has had more sex than me
ohhh ohhh
Does everybody else get that feeling?
ohhh ohhh
Everyone else has had more sex than me
ohhh ohhh
Does everybody else get that feeling?
Whoa ohhhh ohhh ohh

Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everybody else
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone
Does Everyone

Does Everyone think?